Over the last year, knowing that her time was growing short, longtime California State University, Bakersfield staffer and alumna Wendy Gerhold traveled back in time to the legendary parties and events she hosted for friends and family over the years and assembled a scrapbook full of moments that told the story of an extraordinary life of joy, creativity and style.
“To the people who actually attended, she’d say, ‘Remember that thing you went to? I’m going to bore you with the photo album,” said Gerhold’s husband, Dr. John Gerhold, who is processing a flood of emotions in the days following his wife’s death, on Dec. 30, 2021, following a seven-year battle with ovarian cancer.
There is profound grief for the woman he married when he was 18 years old, but mostly a sense of wonder that this “magical creature” generated so much love and light in the world for 57 years.
And part of Gerhold's world was CSUB, her work home for 22 years. She retired in May of 2021 from the facilities department, where she manned the phones, “receiving calls of distress from all over campus” and — with the help of her colleagues — set out to solve all the problems that came her way.
“She really liked that, that she was a part of a group that helped people,” Dr. Gerhold said.
Facilities Management Services Administration Director Paula Bray called Wendy “the hub of our department.”
“Wendy was an honest and forthright individual,” said Bray, who worked with her for seven years. “She was just a joy to work with, and I miss her tremendously.”
But as much as Gerhold enjoyed her work, she was not defined by it, her husband said. She worked part-time so that she had the freedom to travel and pursue a number of creative projects: Sewing fancy outfits for Disneyland outings, creating signature cocktails, hosting unforgettable parties and coordinating Zoom scavenger hunts to bridge the distance between Bakersfield and Japan, where her older daughter and daughter-in-law live.
“She had a really strong streak of creativity,” Dr. Gerhold said. “She needed a good part of her day to make things and plan things. For Halloween of 2021, Wendy planned a weekly creative food item where things were decorated like monsters, very elaborate, and delivered them to the doorsteps of our friends around Bakersfield. She lived from event to event.”
Gerhold was curious and up for just about anything, her husband said. One day when they were at Disneyland, they noticed in the sea of shorts and T-shirts several people walking around in elegant clothes that looked like they were from another time.
“We watched so many people walk by in these outfits and stopped somebody and said, ‘You look amazing. Why are you dressed like that?’ And they said ‘It’s Dapper Day.’ We looked it up and it is a day — actually two days — when you dress up," Dr. Gerhold said. "She’d plan for a Dapper Day outfit and start working on it six months ahead, shopping for fabric, how best to coordinate my outfit with her outfit. She always felt like she needed to have something fun to look forward to.”
When Gerhold was diagnosed with Stage 1 ovarian cancer in 2015, she responded well to treatment and the prognosis was positive, her husband said. But the cancer returned in 2017.
“She was never afraid to talk about death,” he said. “She wanted to talk about it a lot more than I did. She knew it was coming.”
And in the true spirit of his wife, Dr. Gerhold said it was the anticipation of a special event that kept her going.
“We had a very, very nice Christmas Day. She was bedridden but she had energy all day long," he said. "We opened presents together in the morning, and she was very talkative, almost like she was saving up energy for that day.”
Before her death, Gerhold told her husband she didn’t want a memorial service out of an abundance of caution over the COVID-19 surge, but Dr. Gerhold said he might have to overrule that wish because so many people are asking for an opportunity to celebrate his wife.
In the meantime, Dr. Gerhold suggests mixing a signature cocktail created by his wife 10 years ago. The occasion was a party — of course — in honor of a piece of music he wrote for a choir concert.
“The piece was called ‘Blue Tall Love,’ so Wendy made a ‘Blue Tall Love’ cocktail.”
Blue Tall Love — Created on March 12, 2010
- 1 ounce white rum (Tommy Bahama if you can get it)
- 1 ounce Captain Morgan
- Half ounce blue curacao
- One-third cup pineapple juice
- Stir, pour over ice in a tall glass
- Garnish with fruit