‘You and me against the world’

CSUB grad loses mom during pandemic but uses her memory to keep going

By California State University, Bakersfield

November 29^th, 2021

When Nicole Escalante graduates from CSUB on Dec. 16 to begin a career in teaching, she will carry her mother’s memory in her heart and on her graduation cap, decorated with flowers in her mom’s favorite color (purple), a photo of the two holding hands, and a line from a Helen Reddy song:

“You and me against the world.”

“That was my mom’s song with her mom, and now it’s our song, too.”

As millions around the nation retreated to their homes in March of 2020 at the outset of the COVID-19 pandemic, Escalante and her family were reeling from unimaginable sorrow: the unexpected death of Escalante’s mother, Sherry, at age 52.

“The world shut down on a Thursday, and my mother went into the hospital that Monday.”

Mrs. Escalante’s condition was not related to COVID-19, but it was just as mystifying and sudden, her daughter said.

“They said it was a virus in her heart that she probably had for a couple of months,” Escalante said. “We were just in shock.”

In spite of the tragedy, and in honor of her mother, Escalante refused to be diverted from her goal of graduating early from CSUB. With the support of her professors, she took a couple of weeks off before rejoining her classmates in the new virtual world of instruction.

“It was a blessing in disguise that the world shut down,” said Escalante, noting that her brothers were able to return home to Bakersfield to spend time with her and their dad, Tim. “We all had that opportunity to just be together here and not worry about missing school or missing work.”

When her family gathers again at Mechanics Bank Arena to cheer on Escalante as she accepts her degree in liberal studies, they also will celebrate the undaunted spirit of a young woman who has endured so much to take those steps across the stage: a worldwide pandemic, the loss of her mother and two of her grandparents in the last 18 months.

“My mom lost her dad at 8, her brother at 26, and her mom in 2006. She lost everyone. Everything we’ve gone through, my mom went through worse. But you never would have guessed it if you met her. She was the most fun, happy person. I want to be someone who helps people push through the darkness.

“Because that’s what my mom did.”

Escalante shared her story at a recent event at CSUB to celebrate fall 2021 seniors who are graduating in under four years.

“When Nicole began talking about the loss of her mom and her devotion to finishing her degree early as a tribute to this remarkable woman, there wasn’t a dry eye in the audience,” said CSUB President Dr. Lynnette Zelezny. “At CSUB, we have a way of describing students like Nicole: Resilient.”

'I was always the teacher's pet'

For as long as she can remember, Escalante has wanted to be a teacher.

“When I was a little girl, I obsessed with being the teacher when we were playing, and I hate to admit it, but I was always the teacher’s pet.

But in my freshman year, I had a teacher I really didn’t like, and it impacted me so much. I was always a good student and having a teacher I couldn’t work with made me realize I never wanted to be that teacher.”

For the past several months, Escalante has had the opportunity to show a class of second-graders at Norris Elementary – and herself – precisely the kind of teacher she is. She said she’s done as much learning as the 7-year-olds in her class.

“I really enjoy that age,” she said. “They’re still sweet. They look up to you a lot.”

Lisa Smith, a CSUB alumna and elementary teacher of 30-plus years, has the second-grade classroom next to Escalante’s.

“Nicole is almost like a little old soul,” Smith said. “It’s like she’s been there with us before. She just jumps in.”

CSUB alumna Melissa Bright, who has been teaching for 16 years, is Escalante’s mentor in the classroom. She noted that Escalante is doing her student teaching at an extraordinary time in education, as even veteran teachers are struggling to acclimate students to in-person instruction after more than a year of virtual learning.

“A negative is that Nicole is not going to be able to experience things we would do in a normal year, like having parents here, helping out and doing a number of activities that have been put on hold.

“But the pro is that if you can come in and you can handle this, you’ll be fine. Because it will be easier when we can get back to normal.”

Smith echoed Bright’s assessment of the challenges facing teachers and students today.

“When you take seven years of life and wipe out a year or two of it, what is that? A fourth of their life? You retrain them, reassure them that they can sit down, they can learn. But they’re not second-graders, really. They’re not second-graders in confidence or nature. They’re needy. They’re emotional. I think they got away with murder when they were being taught online.”

'If I have a goal, I'm very good at pushing myself'

Following commencement, Escalante will have one more semester of student teaching before she earns her multiple-subject teaching credential, which she will get ahead of schedule, just as she did her bachelor’s degree. Escalante credits a pilot program she joined when she enrolled at CSUB.

“Instead of picking each class, they gave you three options and you chose the schedule you liked the most. I picked the one that allowed me to graduate early,” Escalante said, noting that she loaded up with more than 15 units each semester.

“If I have a goal, I’m very good at pushing myself to get there. I knew if I took breaks or took it easy, I’d get discouraged. It was doable for me. And if it’s doable for me, it’s doable for a lot of people.”

Dr. Vernon Harper, provost and vice president for academic affairs, commended Escalante for her ambitious work load, noting that a top priority of the CSU system is to encourage students to graduate in four years because the longer it takes to earn a degree, the greater the risk that the student will grow discouraged and leave school.

“Graduation Initiative 2025 is the CSU’s visionary plan of action to change the trajectory of higher education and increase graduation rates,” Dr. Harper said. “We devote every resource, every program and every expression of support to student success so that students can navigate their undergraduate studies in four years. This is unprecedented in higher education, and we are seeing tremendous results.”

That support enveloped Escalante in the days and weeks following her mother’s death. She credits academic advisor Dina Hallmark for jumping in to alert Escalante’s professors of the tragedy, and the willingness of faculty and staff to work with her on assignments and due dates.

Escalante also received support from her longtime employer, Luigi’s Restaurant & Delicatessen and her boyfriend, Andrew.

But it is the love of her close-knit family that has helped her through. Escalante lives alone with her dad in the house he built for his wife when their baby girl was 3. It was her parents’ “dream home,” Escalante said, and her mom was the heart of that home.

“I know I’m an adult, but my mom was still reminding me to do my laundry, cooking my dinners and writing me notes. And my parents had been together 33 years, so my dad was not quite sure how to do life on his own either.”

But Escalante said their deep Catholic faith has been a comfort, as well as the newest addition to the family: Her nephew Harrison, her parents’ first grandchild.

As the family moves forward in what Escalante calls her “new normal,” her dad, brothers Timmy and Ryan, and sister-in-law Kristyn are excited to rally around the baby of the family and to pay tribute to the Escalante matriarch.